The "Mommy" Syndrome: WOMEN - STOP IT, PLEASE!

The LORD God took the man,
and put him in the Garden of Eden to WORK it, and TAKE CARE of it!
 (Genesis 2:15)

For some unapparent reason, more male individuals are desiring, and receiving, the attention of self-willed, independent yet motherly, female partners.  When asked the type of woman they want to be with, they state they are in search of the perfect version of the person who brought them into the world.  Being spoiled religiously, he has grown accustomed to being taken care of, instead of "governing" his own life first, being in charge of it!

MOTHERHOOD entails various levels.

The first one denotes the moment she knows that conception has produced the seed, at that moment, she begins protecting the fetus, growing inside the womb!

She wants to make sure she promotes the right food intake for excellent growth, as well as exercising, putting the nursery together, receiving gifts galore from baby showers - preparing for the awaiting debut.  Telling herself the little boy will be spoiled rotten, sporting the finest wardrobe, and how determined she is to provide him with every advantage, even the ones she didn't receive in her own childhood.

The auspicious day of arrival, giving birth to a healthy SON - A Prince in his parent's kingdom!  

The vision has been accomplished, and as she is nursing him, Mommy starts to consider thoughts of building up those traits her son will pick up from his surroundings, beginning with his parents.

As that sweet, cuddly, and cute baby boy becomes a toddler, the second level reveals the mother training him to feed himself, take steps to walk, and speak many words, including, "Hi," "Stop," "No." His mother continues to lift and carry him regularly, telling herself she's giving him a sense of security, whenever he cries or spouts any kind of whimpering sound.  "I don't want him to feel hurt, because he's my baby" she thinks, as she brags on how darling he is, but not mentioning whether he will become a man of greatness.

His parents will think it's an adorable feat, when the child repeats a profane word, or pointing to a stranger, making remarks of how ugly or fat he thinks the person is, even laughing at an elderly individual, because of their moving at a slow pace. That young boy even yells obscenities to his mother, shouting how she gets on his nerves, won't allow him to do whatever he wants.  He treats her as if she's his slave, not the queen of the manor.  If that child is not being chastised for his unknowing insolence or rudeness, the boy will assume it's acceptable for him to remain obnoxious, growing into a brash, smart-mouthed delinquent.

Mother cleans her son's room, feeds him meals that he loves, rather than what he needs.   The young lad continues to be treated like a baby by her, years into his puberty stage.  He will tell, not ask, what he wants her to buy him throughout the year, and she will faithfully work overtime to make the money for his requests, many of which are extremely expensive.  

Well, while it is the way things are today, where more women are needing to have an acceptable job to feed or clothe her children, the third level should fall into play.  At some point in time, the boy should be introduced, early on during this level, to perform daily chores, trained basic manners and showing respect to adults, including his parents, as well as helping to build honorable character in him, discipline and responsibility. 

When I was a CHILD, I talked like a child,

I thought like a child, I understood like a child. But when I became a MAN,

I put childish ways behind me! 
(1 Corinthians 13:11)

Have you noticed how many adult men today want you to have everything yourself, whether it's a house you purchased, an expensive vehicle to sport, or a blooming career with an attractive salary enough for the both of you to live comfortably?  She works diligently, 12-16 hours daily, 5-6 days weekly, to accomplish obtaining those "things" her male partner can enjoy.  But what about what HE brings to the table?  Where is confirmation of the working of that guy's hands?  What are people saying about him, or better yet, through the Holy Spirit, what do you hear during his sharing moments with you?

I can recall, many years ago, having a conversation with a guy, who mentioned how wonderful it is to have a woman who exhibits her own independence, so much that she doesn't need anything from him, except a few minutes of his time.  She will take care of everything else, providing him whatever he would need or want, even if she's not his wife, just so she can show him off to her co-workers, or mere bystanders, proving she has someone in her life, too.

I must admit, my opinion is rather disconcerted, simply because Our Heavenly Father created man in HIS image and likeness, instilling in him a sense of resilience.  Once becoming a teenager,  it should be evident that the young man needs to obtain a job while in high school, to build up a strong work habit.  Having the motivation to see what he wants to accomplish, from the seeds planted in him by his mother, the makings of a mature and accountable young gentleman should materialize.

"For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work, SHALL NOT EAT!" (1 Thessalonians 3:10)

Whenever I see a guy, whether on TV or in person, who happens to love being with a woman who yearns to "take care" of him, instead of getting out of his way, so he can prove himself worthy of her adoration, it disgusts me to no end.  While she is treating him as if he were her son, turning him into an investment for future co-habitation, he becomes quite content with the arrangement.  Yet, she assumes the game plan she's devised will open the door for a marital commitment.  The guy may be willing to "shack up" for years, and be indebted to her, but have no devotion for lifelong vows.  She will begin to perceive that she's being used by the guy, after all those years have come and gone.  Plus, his heart never really becomes hers.

A familiar story, in the book of Acts, where a beggar man was placed outside the temple gate called "Beautiful," since birth, because his mother never saw anything in him but an incapacitated individual.  He was treated as though he wasn't good enough to make it on his own.  Becoming accustomed to sitting in front of that gate, day in and day out, throughout his life, it became a regular routine for him, to beg each person going into, or coming out of the prayer services. However, one day during his adulthood, disciples Peter and John saw him sitting in his usual spot, coercing them, just as he was taught by his mother, to do to everyone who walked by. 

So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

Then Peter said, "SILVER AND GOLD I DO NOT  HAVE,
but WHAT I DO HAVE, I GIVE TO YOU!

In the NAME of YESHUA/JESUS CHRIST of Nazareth, RISE UP AND WALK!"  

Taking him by the right hand,
Peter helped the crippled man up, 
and INSTANTLY the man's feet and ankles became strong!  
He jumped to his feet and began to walk!

Then he went with them into the temple courts,
walking and jumping, and praising the Father! (Acts 3:5-8)

One of the important lessons that I received from this scripture was the fact that the disciples knew the cycle that needed to be removed from the mind and soul of that man.  Through the spirit of encouragement and motivation, they spoke new life into the man, showing him, with the help of the Father's direction, what he was indeed capable of doing.  The same should be true for any of the male species.  Each one needs to have an obligation to be responsible of himself FIRST, before allowing a female to control his comings and goings, forcing him into a stunted relationship with her, that always turns into regret.  

The Bible, in addition, affirms that MAN, not the woman, "who FINDS a WIFE, finds a GOOD THING, and has FAVOR from the FATHER!"  However, when the female puts herself in place to make the decision to intimidate a male to move in with her, extending everything she has (home, car, clothing, jewelry, credit card, spending money, etc.) as a way of showing him her version of love, that kind of relationship rarely provides positive results.  Nine times out of ten, the male will not truly fall in love with her, or even desire to be joined in matrimony, because he already has thoughts that he will one day want to leave and be happy elsewhere.

Now to the UNMARRIED and the WIDOWS I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.  BUT, if they cannot CONTROL THEMSELVES, they SHOULD MARRY, for it is better to MARRY than to BURN WITH PASSION! (1 Corinthians 7:8-9)

Women, we need to stop with the concocting strategy of controlling a man to stay with us, through buying him, turning him into an investment, expecting him to accept our motives to change him into our own personal image version.  Our Heavenly Father knows full well who He has called us to be with in our lives, and IN HIS TIME, HE will do the enjoining of two souls, becoming one flesh.  

Wake up, woman!  Stop being so quick to constrain a man to be with you, by any means necessary.  Let him prove himself to be who the Father has ordained a soul mate to be, someone especially for you.  And, as you continue walking in His ordered steps, staying prepared for the ministry of committed relationship to Him, HE will, in turn, introduce that individual possessing HIS magnificent attributes to you.  You were created to be the helpmeet (soul mate) for a worthy man, not a schemer or manipulator. 

Becoming confident enough to be the head, not the tail, above, not beneath, possessing outstanding work ethic, and an exorbitant amount of undeniable strength from the Most High.  Exhibiting traits of responsibility, nobility, love, compassion, romantic flair, courage, as well as the Father's wisdom, the MAN you are destined to meet will also be dedicated to a lifetime of adoration, providing a home filled with security, devotion and comfort.  Remember, patience is a virtue, and one of the fruit of the Spirit.  Listen, pay attention to the Father's guidance, follow His instructions, and hold fast to your profession of faith, knowing that all your needs, including a man of valor, shall be brought to pass.  Blessings and peace, my sisters!