It Ain't Broken, So Why Fix It: How Important REAL Old-Fashioned Parenting Is

"Discipline your son, for in that, there is hope;

do not be a willing party to his death!"
(Proverbs 19:18)

This may seem a bit much to some, but it has come to my attention that there are several people, unaware of what it means to be a true parent today.  We are so busy about being in constant pursuit of the "American Dream," a sense of prominence, thoughts that don't appear to consider essential expectation.   I'm not sure what happened to the memories of their lives, once born into the world, grew up in a home with their own caregivers, who trained them up properly, experiencing those infamous events of teenage life.  And yet, upon having children of their own, apparently, everything they learned went into a state of oblivion.  The lessons of chastisement flew out the window, and now it's more important to shower a child, from birth to college years.  Overwhelming them, with every material object known to man, while proving to themselves they would never implement same the treatment they received growing up, to their their offspring.  The question I have for that fleeting concept is - since you yourself turned out so wonderfully, with  high moral values, intelligence, and understanding intact, why would you allow your child to miss out on what helped make YOU great?

Do you realize that babies are one of the most God-given miracles in the world?  The fact that a human creation can be formed into life, through the womb of a woman, just like God ordained, is absolutely joyous to behold.  Once the wonderful news has been given by the obstetrician, preparation takes place, months in advance, for the happy arrival, including maternity-attire purchases, Lamaze classes, unexpected baby showers, even searches for the best, most qualified schools for the new parents' future young genius. 

Many either move into a bigger house with an extra room for the infant, while others may already have a spare, arranging to completely alter an office in their home.  Making sure a list or registry is in place, in order to receive amazing gifts of the latest gadgets, such as monitors, strollers, car seats, and thermometer-capable pacifiers. Shopping for the finest furniture pieces (changing table, rocking chair, bassinet/crib), and of course diapers galore, bottles of every size, bibs, blankets, the most expensive, name-brand infant wear.  

Memories takes one back to a little girl with an infant doll, how she requests all the amenities that a real mother would want for her baby, in order to present her cradling  to everyone, as a doting doll parent.  However, since it's inanimate, the child can just take the doll and lay it down, make it sit up, or even place it in a swing, without full-time concerns, uninterested if her little one is healthy, sleeping or not crying!
 
At a moments notice, the triumphant expectation has arrived!  We want to shelter the baby in our arms, providing safety and unconditional love.  Watching  the newborn,  immediately beginning to learn, from the moment of birth, how quickly they can devour everything they see, feel, and hear!  The infant, from the moment of entering the outside world, seeing either brightness, as well as face of the doctor, midwife, or father, automatically goes into grasp-mode, picking up any and everything in sight or sound! 

Does anyone recall watching the 1970 children's movie classic "WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY," starring the talented actor Gene Wilder? The storyline provided an interesting tale of an ingenious mogul recluse, who initiated a type of scavenger hunt, in search of a golden ticket, one of 5, and the prize would be having the esteemed opportunity of touring his castle-like corporation.  The stickler was that only children could enter the contest, anywhere in the world.  The winner could, of course, have a parent to escort them.  Below is a clip of the movie:

I remember viewing the movie in a theater when I was 11, and thought the story told so many truths, as to why children became bratty, believing that they were worthy of demanding or coveting whatever they wanted, fully expecting to receive all., whether beneficial to their life or not.  Unfortunately, when a child was given all of their momentary craving desires, without having seeds of nobility, kindness, consideration, or forethought planted in them during their infant and toddler stages, there was no other direction but to spiral out of control.  What I appreciated was the moral of the story, which is, just as the Word of God stands by, "TRAIN UP a child in the way he SHOULD go, and when he becomes old, IT WILL NOT DEPART FROM HIM!"  That not only means that we should begin as early as the first year of  their life to get them to be introduced to having books read to them, or feeding them tofu when they start chewing, but they need to be corrected and admonished, too!

When a child begins to repeat words or phrases they've heard, the ears of the parents should automatically stay captivated, the same way as those late-night feeding moments, when the alarm clock of loud crying would go off.  The baby is showing just how quickly they can absorb, with no limit to the amount.

Of course, one cannot resist wanting to spoil a child, especially when they are small, cute and cuddly.  However, along with showing loving attention, chastisement, admonishment and support are as extremely imperative as feeding, clothing, or providing a warm place for them to sleep.   While their outward appearance and sense of style is being achieved, the inward person should be continually cultivated into a beautiful, courteous and distinctive individual; not a brass, selfish or obnoxious rascal.  It is not okay to allow a little one to call someone else, young or old, a nasty name, laugh in a person's face, or berate a less unfortunate or challenged person.  They should not feel comfortable making fun of another child, teasing them for not wearing Gucci-tagged outfits, or having a physical frame, that may appear to be a little more than what they see when they view themselves in the mirror.  Phrases like "Thank you," "Please," "Excuse me" or "Good morning" never get old, always show great character, and display good home-training!

Instilling certain management skills in our children that will help them flourish, such as eating with them, reading to them, writing\drawing with them, playing sports, watching/listening to music or TV with them, providing regular decent bedtime schedules, and having conversations with them about the day.  These provide feelings that promoting belonging.  Words your child should NEVER encounter you verbalizing from your mouth, as well as profanity, are the following:  Bad, stupid, ugly!  Bad, when referring to a child's overactive behavior; stupid, referring to the way a person may handle a situation; or ugly, when you assume someone is not as attractive as you think they should be.  Since "life and death are in the POWER of the tongue," a child should be taught early in their life to watch what they hear AND say.  The parent, being more careful to wear a muzzle on their spewing mouthpiece, instead of letting it "letting it all hang out," will reveal to the child that we can control what we speak.

"FOOLISHNESS is BOUND in the HEART of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him!"

(Proverbs 22:16)

There was a time when parents like me would bear a thin branch, better known as a "switch," and it was used as a correction tool for 1 to 3-year-olds.  Just a few touches of the switch would only sting a child's leg; not draw blood, or leave distinguishing marks, but a lasting reminder that their parent meant business, and was not just dawdling.  Also, as a result, children who were corrected did not grow into a mouthy, disrespectful vulgarian,  a product no one would be proud to claim.

"The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame!" 
(Proverbs 29:15)

Another thing that seems to be left out of the equation of a little child's tutelage regimen is prayer.  Whenever a toddler learns  the 'now I lay me down to sleep" or "God bless..." recitation, they begin to grow with the belief that there IS a Higher, Faithful Source, who is the Creator of all things, great and small.  Perplexities that may materialize later in life will not have to be dealt with alone, as long as we realize Our Heavenly Father is known as the Only True and Living God, seeing and knowing all!  

Entitlement is not as important as teaching them the ability to build a sense of achievement, by teaching them the significance and the value of possessing hard work ethics.  Show them how to sweep the kitchen floor, or wipe up after a spill.  Encourage them to assist with folding or hanging their clothes, and putting them away.  Making sure they return their playthings to the toy box once they have finished using them, is so rewarding.  There are so many ways a child can be taught constructively, instances that will grow, as they do!

We are what we eat, and whatever we intake, becomes an extension!  At first glance, any of us will be gazed upon as a mere mortal, born into the world.  However, once our parents or the perception of them, are viewed, or even heard, it becomes quite evident how we were trained, what we were taught we could or could not do, and the learned behavior that follows.  A foundation is laid, traits are passed down, and unique qualities stem from how we are raised.  

To me, PARENTHOOD should be like a precept; not just something to do because you can procreate, but a "ministry" - a spiritual calling of God!  The planting of healthy seeds into the fertile ground of a child, should always include keeping the roots, as well as the soil, watered with encouragement, unselfish consideration, love and forewarning, because our testament will speak for itself.  Amplifying critical instruction, special care and charity continually, trusting God always, while watching what transpires!  In turn, they will incorporate all the astounding marvels and purpose, transferring those amazing attributes they have grown to muster, everywhere they go.  You will then stand, humbly elated and joyful, the essence of a truly blessed, proud parent to a silhouette of a victorious attainment!

Blessings and peace to you!